What it sounds like: An identity or mid-life crisis statement.
Why it’s a red flag: People sometimes use “finding myself” to excuse an affair or extended separation. It’s valid to explore personal growth — but when it appears suddenly alongside secrecy or emotional absence, it can be a cover for leaving.
What it may mean underneath: He might be looking for validation from someone outside the marriage, or preparing to build a different life that excludes you.
What you can do: Support genuine personal growth (classes, therapy) with transparency: set agreements about honesty, time away, and boundaries.

5) “It’s not you — it’s me.”

What it sounds like: A cliché used to soften the blow.
Why it’s a red flag: It’s typically the preface to ending a relationship or to justify behavior without specifics. If paired with secrecy, new friendships that are hidden, or decreased intimacy, it’s often a sign he’s emotionally checked out.
What it may mean underneath: He is avoiding difficult conversations about his choices and wants an easier exit without accountability.
What you can do: Ask for clarity: “What exactly feels wrong for you? Are you prepared to work on it?” Demand honesty and propose a timeline for deciding next steps.

Why a Man Might Leave His Wife for Another Woman 

People leave marriages for many layered reasons; below are common categories with explanations of the emotional mechanics behind each.