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Remember, Your Relationship Will Evolve Over Time — And That’s Healthy!

The important thing to remember is that a relationship is a living, breathing thing that is guaranteed to evolve over time. Once you’ve been in a long-term relationship, it’s fairly likely that those obsessive thoughts will calm down. That doesn’t mean you’re falling out of love with them — in fact, it can be a good thing.

“Since your relationship is more secure, when you are apart, you are able to focus more on yourself, your goals, and needs,” explains Ruiz. “Differentiation means you know who you are independent from them and from being in a relationship. A strong sense of self develops, which will lead to a healthier well being and healthier relationship.”

As a general rule, Ruiz says, “You shouldn’t spend more time thinking about your partner than you do about you and your goals and plans.”